If you think he's sexy..

Recently, I was privy to a conversation between my 16 yr old and her best friend about a couple of boys they like. Mostly what I heard was, "He's sexy." "He's hot!"

Ok. But. I can't fathom how males whose frontal lobes aren't fully developed 'til age 25 can be hot & sexy? My daughter and her friend insist that hot & sexy just means .. gorgeous or extremely attractive. In a woman's mind, a hot and sexy guy is someone you would want to have sex with. So I asked them.. Are you guys having sex? Do you want to have sex? They both told me "No." I believe them.

I tried to convey to them that in my opinion, if you text a boy "I think you're sexy," He's liable to interpret that as.. "I think you are SEXUALLY attractive." Granted, attraction at that age, or any age for that matter, has everything to do with sex.. but they don't need to know that!

Besides that! My son (if I had one), would be taught to believe that any girl who sent him that message is a moron because she is unable to think of a better adjective for something she likes. So what does that say about my 10th grader? ..Guess I'm still in teaching mode.

As for you, dear readers.. I'd like to teach you how to make this Sexy Valentine Gift I invented.. loooong time ago! For adult guys.

"Dear (Your Guy),
You stand out in the heap!"

What is this?

• It's a spice container w/transparent lid (Target)
  
• Filled with Lemon Heads (All the other guys)
  
• 1 Green M&M in the middle. (Your guy!)

Speaks volumes!

What is it about The Green Ones®?

Legend has it The Green Ones® are an aphrodisiac; rumors of their special powers have been circulating since the '70s. Read more...

Where To Get Some Passion

Ready for Reinvention, too? Find Passion from Lemons ~

I resist sharing about "Lemonade," an inspirational documentary film about 16 advertising professionals who lost their jobs and found their calling, and in the process encourage everyone to listen to that little voice inside their head that asks,

“What if?”

Watch "Lemonade" and support the project.


What do you think of that beautiful red rose?

Download it as wallpaper for your desktop. I just did. Photo Copyright of Fabio Visentin.

red rose passion Photo : download Full High resolution red rose passion Photo : download 1440x900 red rose passion Photo : download 1280x800 red rose passion Photo : download 1024x768

The BLISS of My Ignorance

Well now... I'm currently on a Comfort & Joy kick and I've made a decision! It started last July, and I'm kicking it up a notch, effectively immediately! Mostly due to my far away brother pulling another surprise visit on us! He came, it seems, to support my local brother in his civil marriage ceremony to a girlfriend, the local family had no idea was happening. I decided months ago that I don't have a need to & nor do I want to know everything going on with everyone in our family. But when a sibling gets married (for the 3rd time) and he doesn't t tell you or invite you.. What are you supposed to feel?

My comfort and joy seems to fade off into the sunset when I'm drawn, sucked or dragged into other people's complicated *schtuff! (my polite word for s-h-i-t). This secret marriage certainly is complicated. And now I want my comfort and joy back!

Last summer, when a relative went on a rant about superfluous nonsense of her own doing... Out of curiosity, I asked "Why are you telling us this stuff?" And not speaking for any one else, I added "I don't particularly want to know about it." She was startled, "You don't?!! Well! You neeeed to know!" That was my queue to leave.

My new philosophy? I'll ask you no questions, and you don't tell me anything that isn't pleasant and peaceful and nice! I have learned that I am at my best with my family, when I abide in the rest, peace, comfort and quiet of Apt 10b. I have enough going on in my own life as an enterprising single woman & mom, on this side of town, and I am not willing to commute for some family drama!

I love my brothers. But I don't get them. For now, my feelings are hurt. I didn't hear from either of them all day Friday or Saturday. I missed a call from one of 'em @ 6am today. No message. I'll get over it.

That's why I'm sooo looking forward to Byron Katie's workshop tonight! One of my favorite quotes of hers is:

"Everything happens FOR me, not to me." - I love this!

And with that said.. I have resorted to speaking to those mellow dramatic friends and family.. what the art piece above says so clearly...

"Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening."

Art: "Joseph Campbell Said (2009)" by Valerie Alon

Woman to Woman

The first and only time I ever felt any attraction to other women was pre-mommyhood and I was fully blown single and loving it! It was my first New Year's Eve party in Atlanta. It was 1991.

The previous October I'd broken up from a 3 year relationship with the man I probably would have married had it not been for his mother and sisters having a problem with me not being .. white. It was a long time coming, but it was finally over by Thanksgiving. And I was free to partee like it was 1999! I'd made a friend with a guy on a temp job. There was no romantic interest on my part, at least. We managed to go out on a couple of lunch dates then he invited me out on New Year's Eve.

I don't remember the exact location, but it was a high rise hotel ballroom downtown Atlanta. The air was crisp, the stars were bright, the people were beautiful. Especially, the women. There was hair and fragrance and adornments every where. I remember I wore black and blue. I sparkled and felt beautiful, too. My date loved to dance as much as I did. But I soon learned either him or his jacket hadn't been to the cleaners recently. He was fun, but I had to ditch him. I literally walked away from him on the dance floor and never looked back.

By the stroke of midnight, I had lost complete track of him. I found a pay phone and called my mother to wish her a Happy New Year. Then I returned to the dance floor where people were still kissing and hugging and dancing. I greeted everyone who reached out to me. Men and women. That's when I noticed... "Wow! She's beautiful." And so is she. And her.. and her. Oh my. I wasn't confused. I was just extremely observant of the truth. That I wasn't the only one who looked fantastic and had seemingly experienced angst over what outfit to wear and what to do with her hair.

This isn't a story about a discovery of any inner longings. It's just my first time observation that women are truly beautiful. And I understood why men think so.

Which brings me to this disclosure. My senior minister is a woman. Our associate minister is a man. He's gay. She is.. beautiful and sharp and wise and stylish. She has a permeating smile and the capacity to remember and speak your name and look you in the eye when she talks to you, and she touches you with her whole hand. Every Sunday after the service, many congregants line up to meet and greet the ministers on the way out. I love my church, I love the ministers. So I usually show my love and support for them with a full embrace, and I always tell them I love them.

The very last time I hugged and said I love you to my senior minister, I think I over did it. Telling her how "gorgeous" she was that day. I was ridiculously ecstatic. And as I walked away, a strange feeling came over me. Could she possibly think that I am gay?

I never want to give the impression that I am. So I've been avoiding the meet and greet line ever since.

Hey! Kelly McGillis (of Top Gun fame) came out last year. Saying.. she's done with the man thing. As did Alex P. Keaton's mom.. Meredith Baxter. I always felt something was up with her, though. These moms were married to men and making babies for years, then decided to get real and honest about who they are and who they want to love.

As for me.. I am for sure a lover of men. Although religion and pop culture has programmed us, through overt biblical and social messages that women belong with men and not other women. I could never be so dissociated from the genuine light of self-awareness.. to engage in a physical, romantic or otherwise sexual relationship with another woman. Although, truth be told, the thought doesn't disgust me.

One Place. Mini Destinations.

Imagine a place that's just for you. A place where you can refresh your soul, recharge your body, rejuvenate yourself. Imagine stepping into serenity, surrounded by natural hues and soothing aromas. Imagine that this special place is nearby and readily available.

Imagine your living room, dining room, kitchen and patio. Each bedroom, and each bath and even the closets are a mini destination location.

Right now, I'm thankful I'm a renter! Otherwise I'd probably be foreclosed on.

I love where I live! I love that it's a small luxury community is a cozy nook and cranny somewhere near the Dallas North Tollway, but happily off the beaten path. It's urban and mature and ain't cheap! I'd be hard pressed to downgrade, upgrade or leave. At least not before 2012 when my daughter goes off to college.

Because this is the year for greater success for me personally and financially, I have decided that I will transform this one apartment into a sanctuary of Mini Destinations! That means, integrating elements of places I've been and long to return to, and places I've yet to explore... Wall to wall, door to door.

I've been browsing around online for some ideas. As I look for things that I really like and choose to use to create the mini destinations for each room, I will post any lovely finds and the merchants of designs.. right here where you can find them, too.

For starters..

Mediterranean Style Living Room:
I'd love to escape to a living room with impressions of the Mediterranean .. Dark lush textured rugs, huge wall art and tons of throw pillows and curtains that drag the floor. I'm almost there..


French Bistro Style Dining Room:
I just love Bistro tables! They're modest and promote intimacy. And guests are not all confined to one big table! That's my desire for my kitchen and dining room. Two to three 2-seater tables for dining & tapas & wine tastings & private conversations...



Caribbean Garden Patio:
I plan to create a Tropical oasis of posh greenery and zen pebble-scapes with chimes and fountains to mask the barking dogs and highway noise that can be heard from my patio.. On one side will be my relaxing garden, and al fresco dining on the other! Plus lots of pretty night lights for late night visitors.. This escape? Right outside my kitchen, of course!

Moroccan Style Bedroom:
And alls I want in my bedroom is a romantic Moroccan inspired bed, exactly like this.

So I'd better get up from here and get on it!

Where in the world is Marcelle?

I used to work with Marcelle. I miss her. Marcelle loved dark chocolate. I don't. She doesn't like Aaron Neville. I do. I just checked my cell phone to see if I still have her number in it. It is. I haven't talked to her since April or May of last year. I called her with a legal contracts question. I was contemplating working as an contractor for a woman who created a line of organic personal lubricants. Marcelle doesn't call or email at all anymore. And I haven't called her. It's just so awkward initiating contact with friends who still have jobs. I know she's busier than ever. Mother. Wife. Mentor. With a intense travel schedule. And I'm sure her daughter is graduating from college in a year or so. I used to laugh out loud when she talked about the trepidations of her teen son.. and her hubby. I remember laughing at myself saying that, when my daughter goes away to college, "Ya'll will have to mop me up. I'm gonna be mush." I said that, assuming I'd still be employed there in 2012. I was wrong. Marcelle was/is a "more bang for the buck" kind of lady. When I was raising money for my daughter to take a class trip to DC, I tried having a jewelry sales fund raiser. Marcelle wrote a check for $150! So did a few others in the office. That was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. Not only the giving part, but the friendship part. For Christmas, Marcelle came back from NYC and gave me one of my most favorite Christmas gifts from a friend, ever! A NYC Central Park Starbucks coffee mug. See.. That's what people do who know something about you. They give you thoughtful gifts. I don't drink much coffee any more, but every time I use it for juice or tea, I think of Marcelle!

Bet she'd like to know that! Maybe I'll email her this weekend. Send her a link to this blog.

More than enough surprises for one day!

I spent a couple of hours at billiards and bowling with the cable guy a few nights ago. Learned some interesting things about him. I secretly wondered if the guy might have PTSD. Fatal shooting, Gulf war veteran sniper near miss and near death personal experiences. I should avoid him at all costs.

The Universe had a different plan.

With new carpet installation a few days later came the need to disconnect the tv and cable box, then the problem of no picture after countless attempts at rebooting and reconnecting. Wouldn't you know it? I call him instead of the cable company for technical support. What was I thinking?

Just as he was finishing up, my brothers make a surprise visit from Iowa and Florida. I only expected the one from Iowa. But when the one from Florida emerged from the car. Well.... After my initial shock and tearful greeting, I composed myself to introduce him or them to.. each other. Three very cool very handsome men standing in my drive way. What a day!

He leaves to go about his work day and my brothers and I hang out for a minute, before I decide to pick up my teen from school a little early. I haven't seen my brothers together in 5 years! It was a wonderful, touching gift to laugh and enjoy their company. Knowing they'd both be going their separate ways tomorrow, and it could be another 5 years before we meet up again. They're weird like that.

A few hours later, I discover two text messages on my cell phone....

From the cable guy.

[First Message]
"It was nice to see u smile like that, when u were surprised by your brothers. So that must mean u dont see them as much as u should. Shame on u all."

[Next Message]
... "And your eyes are truly beautiful."

Wow. That was very endearing, to say the least.

Now.. How quickly can I forget about my brothers' surprise visit after these surprise messages?