The sex appeal of a great head of hair

An overly confident young stylist once stood over me and said.. "You have enough hair on your head for five people!" I only allowed her to trim my ends.

And once an Old School stylist simply refused to cut a mere 3 inches off my hair. Even though I wanted her to. Her philosophy was that since I was blessed with a head of thick long hair, I needed to leave it like that! I kept her for as long as I could. Wish I knew where to find her now! Velmarie Marshall, where are you?!

Outside the beauty myth

In this Song of Solomon, we can hear the protest of a woman who does not fit into her society's beauty myth:

"I am black but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon."Do not stare at me because I am swarthy, For the sun has burned me. My mother's sons were angry with me; they made me caretaker of the vineyards, But I have not taken care of my own vineyard."

The above video was created by Kari Morris and Onleilove Alston based on scriptures from Song of Songs 1:5-6; 5:7; 8:6b and Music "'Til We Reach That Day" taken from the Original Cast Album of RAGTIME.

Kari Morris a graduate of The Actors Studio and Union Theological Seminary is an actor, writer,singer and executive producer of the film "Two".

Onleilove Alston is a student at Union Theological Seminary and Columbia University School of Social Work. She organizes with NY Faith & Justice and the Poverty Initiative. During the summer of 2008 she served at Sojourners as a Beatitudes Society Fellow. You can visit her blog- Esther's

Read the entire article @ The Beatitudes Society

Ok Ladies! The only other Gentlemans Magazine You'll Ever Need to Read!

I'm speechless, actually.

Somehow I ended up @ the Hall of the Black Dragon.com

I responded to the post "Solutions for The Single Black Female," and the response to my response, hooked me up. Filled me up. Pleased me. Squeezed me.

Tighter.

Tighter!

Click Here to read my comment

And here is the reply to my comment:

Hi Mom in Apt 10b (love your blog btw) I grew up with a beautiful single mother, so I saw my fair share of sorry-ass men. Actually out of the number that came in and out of our lives I recall one outstanding guy, he was exciting, had her dancing on air but he had a drug habit. The point you make on vices is not a light one, and for all the good points that we have, many men do fall back on vices and it is a wicked thing. Alcohol, drugs, sex, video games, you name it there is always something. That being said you are in pursuit of a truly "different" individual, it leads back to what I said about our typical dives and digs. THAT guy that will win you over for all you are worth, is probably in the least likely place looking for someone like you. Good guys are normally driven, the passion is their vice so they will hang out at places that aren't exactly leisurely to an outsider, but to them it's heaven. Many good guys are home bodies when they aren't actively travelling and Jet Setting. Many cultured guys do their first loves solo, so it would be up to you to keep your eye open for him when you cross paths in an activity that isn't the Black Ski Summit. So if you are running into too many losers with vices, and your wish is for a man of culture and exploration, you will need to do your research on where a man like this frequents. Many times he isn't in your neighborhood, city or stomping grounds. Just remember that we are in the information age and an accomplished single man will be able to get to you without much hassle. Last but not least, we did not get that "minority" tag on accident, I know I am preaching to the choir when I say that for outside of a select few cities black people are a rarity. If I had tried to find my current girlfriend in my town I would have been better off trying to find the holy grail. It is that bad, and many of us forget that it is that bad. So exploring other venues even outside of your local area in order to find Mr. Right is almost a necessity.

You can see more information for the comment on this post here:
http://halloftheblackdragon.com/reel/1072/solutions-for-the-single-black-female.html#comment-786

Now go hang out @ The Black Dragon's Blog

Don't love me 'cause I'm beautiful..

And don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, either!

It's a known fact that so called beautiful women are more disliked than their "plainer" rivals. And I might add, more lonely, too. Is it a curse to be considered beautiful?

From early childhood I watched my daughter being burdened with the stigma of adoration from adults because of her looks (and her smarts) to the dismay of her peers. And as a teen and young adult, I was called stuck up, or bitch, and antagonized and hated by my peers and coworkers because all the guys were staring and stumbling.. Let's go ahead and call it what it is. A curse!

And now, at age 47, I feel kinda of awkward talking about myself to other women. Even women who think I am beautiful. I like me. And I do beautiful very well. But I'm feeling hopelessly stigmatized myself, and I'm sure that most men I could be remotely attracted to are intimidated and stay away because they think that single and beautiful means deadly or damaged. I always get.. "How come a beautiful woman like you is still single?" Men friends and even my brothers suggest that I when I go out I should dress down and not turn down a drink offer or an invitation to dance. Else.. no other man in the room will ask. "Beautiful women.. Ya'll mess with a brother's head."

At work and in social settings beautiful women quickly become the center of attention. I don't like being the center of attention. It makes me feel like the entertainment. Guys seeking you out, alienating you from all the haters.. um.. women around. You'd be amazed to hear about all the negative attention I got from women at work just because of the unnecessary and undeserved attention I got from men.

I was telling some new friends at a weekend retreat that I tend to wear my sunglasses all the time, even inside at malls and grocery stores and the doctor's office, etc.. to avoid attracting unwanted attention and conversation about my eyes. They are green, and they are really mine. As flattering as that is, it can be very awkward to talk about myself when the focus should be on someone or something else. I know my eyes, my face, my hair, my stance, my persona and presence are beautiful to others! But there's more to me than what you see.

And just because it's beautiful to you doesn't mean it's good for you. You know? So unless you get to know me, you'll never really know me. It would be so nice to meet someone who is interested in getting to know me first without harping on what he thinks of my looks. The worst part is there is really nothing I can do about it... except keep my eyes open for the one who will have.. "enough confidence and swagger to pull me without any fear..."

That'll be the day!