Tuesday, March 2, 2010

He cried after sex

For someone like me, sexual intimacy is primarily spiritual. But I'm not sure if intimacy has always been so much about mingling of souls as it is about mingling of bodies. Even in my 40s I can get caught up in the cultural and media messages of physical attraction and sexual gratification, but I don't dare allow them to prevail or make sense for that matter. Being a single mom of a daughter I only desire to practice what I teach.

Sacred and sexual in the same motion, seems so new-agey and unrealistic. But I have a friend who told me of an experience with her now deceased husband.. when shortly before his unexpected death by heart attack (not in bed but at a red light).. he cried after they made love. They weren't newly weds, either. She said his sobbing was a bit disarming yet very profound. But all she could do was revel in the soul and soggy arms of her beloved gentle tender man. She never new him more deeply. It wasn't long before he left her to raise alone, their infant son.

It's been a few years since I've seen my friend. And back then, I considered her to be one of the most promiscuous women I've ever known. Not a judgment just an observation.. Seemingly in search of that sacred sexual experience, again.

What about this man's emotion made this experience seem so sacred, anyway? As profound as it was for her to experience, it's just as profound for me to know that it happened. I can't explain it. But I'd like to experience that as well.

Having been single for quite some time now, and not sexually active, I cannot foresee connecting with the next Mr. Right with any degree of spirituality - right off the bat. I would dive right in.. probably expecting that if he's pleasing to my heart as he is to my mind.. my soul won't care if we skip a few steps.

Forging a spiritual trust like what my friend obviously had with her husband could take a few years. The price I pay for being selective.


Greg Dragon said...

And to think I was about to storm in with some old "what kinda man blah, blah, blah"... thank goodness I read past the title. You say he left her afterwards... are you sure it was a connection thing that occurred? I've known some men to cry over sex, but it's normally years later after they realized that they will never have it as good as the woman they let fly away. While you mention spirituality as you know sometimes a master of the physical can hook a woman/man just as easily as a fully psyche connection. Sex can make or break you... such is life.

The Mom in Apt 10b... said...

In my mind, a master of the physical is someone who doesn't even know that about him/herself and anyone who gets hooked get's lucky!

I'm not sure if you understood or maybe I wasn't clear.. But he left her because he passed away. But I get what you're suggesting.. SHE felt there was a soul connection or something. I would have had the same feelings. Or else why would he cry in her arms in her bed?