Monday, January 25, 2010

If you think he's sexy..

Recently, I was privy to a conversation between my 16 yr old and her best friend about a couple of boys they like. Mostly what I heard was, "He's sexy." "He's hot!"

Ok. But. I can't fathom how males whose frontal lobes aren't fully developed 'til age 25 can be hot & sexy? My daughter and her friend insist that hot & sexy just means .. gorgeous or extremely attractive. In a woman's mind, a hot and sexy guy is someone you would want to have sex with. So I asked them.. Are you guys having sex? Do you want to have sex? They both told me "No." I believe them.

I tried to convey to them that in my opinion, if you text a boy "I think you're sexy," He's liable to interpret that as.. "I think you are SEXUALLY attractive." Granted, attraction at that age, or any age for that matter, has everything to do with sex.. but they don't need to know that!

Besides that! My son (if I had one), would be taught to believe that any girl who sent him that message is a moron because she is unable to think of a better adjective for something she likes. So what does that say about my 10th grader? ..Guess I'm still in teaching mode.

As for you, dear readers.. I'd like to teach you how to make this Sexy Valentine Gift I invented.. loooong time ago! For adult guys.

"Dear (Your Guy),
You stand out in the heap!"

What is this?
  • It's a spice container w/transparent lid (Target)
  • Filled with Lemon Heads (All the other guys)
  • 1 Green M&M in the middle. (Your guy!)

Speaks volumes!

What is it about The Green Ones®?

Legend has it The Green Ones® are an aphrodisiac; rumors of their special powers have been circulating since the '70s. Read more...

Where To Get Some Passion

Ready for Reinvention, too? Find Passion from Lemons ~

I resist sharing about "Lemonade," an inspirational documentary film about 16 advertising professionals who lost their jobs and found their calling, and in the process encourage everyone to listen to that little voice inside their head that asks,
What if?

Watch "Lemonade" and support the project.

What do you think of that beautiful red rose?

Download it as wallpaper for your desktop. I just did. Photo Copyright of Fabio Visentin.

red rose passion Photo : download Full High resolution
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red rose passion Photo : download 1024x768

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The BLISS of My Ignorance

Well now... I'm currently on a Comfort & Joy kick and I've made a decision! It started last July, and I'm kicking it up a notch, effectively immediately! Mostly due to my far away brother pulling another surprise visit on us! He came, it seems, to support my local brother in his civil marriage ceremony to a girlfriend, the local family had no idea was happening. I decided months ago that I don't have a need to & nor do I want to know everything going on with everyone in our family. But when a sibling gets married (for the 3rd time) and he doesn't t tell you or invite you.. What are you supposed to feel?

My comfort and joy seems to fade off into the sunset when I'm drawn, sucked or dragged into other people's complicated *schtuff! (my polite word for s-h-i-t). This secret marriage certainly is complicated. And now I want my comfort and joy back!

Last summer, when a relative went on a rant about superfluous nonsense of her own doing... Out of curiosity, I asked "Why are you telling us this stuff?" And not speaking for any one else, I added "I don't particularly want to know about it." She was startled, "You don't?!! Well! You neeeed to know!" That was my queue to leave.

My new philosophy? I'll ask you no questions, and you don't tell me anything that isn't pleasant and peaceful and nice! I have learned that I am at my best with my family, when I abide in the
rest, peace, comfort and quiet of Apt 10b. I have enough going on in my own life as an enterprising single woman & mom, on this side of town, and I am not willing to commute for some family drama!

I love my brothers. But I don't get them. For now, my feelings are hurt. I didn't hear from either of them all day Friday or Saturday. I missed a call from one of 'em @ 6am today. No message. I'll get over it.

That's why I'm sooo looking forward to Byron Katie's workshop tonight! One of my favorite quotes of hers is:
"Everything happens FOR me, not to me." - I love this!

And with that said.. I have resorted to speaking to those mellow dramatic friends and family.. what the art piece above says so clearly...
"Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening."

Art: "Joseph Campbell Said (2009)" by Valerie Alon

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Woman to Woman

The first and only time I ever felt any attraction to other women was pre-mommyhood and I was fully blown single and loving it! It was my first New Year's Eve party in Atlanta. It was 1991.

The previous October I'd broken up from a 3 year relationship with the man I probably would have married had it not been for his mother and sisters having a problem with me not being .. white. It was a long time coming, but it was finally over by Thanksgiving. And I was free to partee like it was 1999! I'd made a friend with a guy on a temp job. There was no romantic interest on my part, at least. We managed to go out on a couple of lunch dates then he invited me out on New Year's Eve.

I don't remember the exact location, but it was a high rise hotel ballroom downtown Atlanta. The air was crisp, the stars were bright, the people were beautiful. Especially, the women. There was hair and fragrance and adornments every where. I remember I wore black and blue. I sparkled and felt beautiful, too. My date loved to dance as much as I did. But I soon learned either him or his jacket hadn't been to the cleaners recently. He was fun, but I had to ditch him. I literally walked away from him on the dance floor and never looked back.

By the stroke of midnight, I had lost complete track of him. I found a pay phone and called my mother to wish her a Happy New Year. Then I returned to the dance floor where people were still kissing and hugging and dancing. I greeted everyone who reached out to me. Men and women. That's when I noticed... "Wow! She's beautiful." And so is she. And her.. and her. Oh my. I wasn't confused. I was just extremely observant of the truth. That I wasn't the only one who looked fantastic and had seemingly experienced angst over what outfit to wear and what to do with her hair.

This isn't a story about a discovery of any inner longings. It's just my first time observation that women are truly beautiful. And I understood why men think so.

Which brings me to this disclosure. My senior minister is a woman. Our associate minister is a man. He's gay. She is.. beautiful and sharp and wise and stylish. She has a permeating smile and the capacity to remember and speak your name and look you in the eye when she talks to you, and she touches you with her whole hand. Every Sunday after the service, many congregants line up to meet and greet the ministers on the way out. I love my church, I love the ministers. So I usually show my love and support for them with a full embrace, and I always tell them I love them.

The very last time I hugged and said I love you to my senior minister, I think I over did it. Telling her how "gorgeous" she was that day. I was ridiculously ecstatic. And as I walked away, a strange feeling came over me. Could she possibly think that I am gay?

I never want to give the impression that I am. So I've been avoiding the meet and greet line ever since.

Hey! Kelly McGillis (of Top Gun fame) came out last year. Saying.. she's done with the man thing. As did Alex P. Keaton's mom.. Meredith Baxter. I always felt something was up with her, though. These moms were married to men and making babies for years, then decided to get real and honest about who they are and who they want to love.

As for me.. I am for sure a lover of men. Although religion and pop culture has programmed us, through overt biblical and social messages that women belong with men and not other women. I could never be so dissociated from the genuine light of self-awareness.. to engage in a physical, romantic or otherwise sexual relationship with another woman. Although, truth be told, the thought doesn't disgust me.

Friday, January 22, 2010

One Place. Mini Destinations.

Imagine a place that's just for you. A place where you can refresh your soul, recharge your body, rejuvenate yourself. Imagine stepping into serenity, surrounded by natural hues and soothing aromas. Imagine that this special place is nearby and readily available.

Imagine your living room, dining room, kitchen and patio. Each bedroom, and each bath and even the closets are a mini destination location.

Right now, I'm thankful I'm a renter! Otherwise I'd probably be foreclosed on.

I love where I live! I love that it's a small luxury community is a cozy nook and cranny somewhere near the Dallas North Tollway, but happily off the beaten path. It's urban and mature and ain't cheap! I'd be hard pressed to downgrade, upgrade or leave. At least not before 2012 when my daughter goes off to college.

Because this is the year for greater success for me personally and financially, I have decided that I will transform this one apartment into a sanctuary of Mini Destinations! That means, integrating elements of places I've been and long to return to, and places I've yet to explore... Wall to wall, door to door.

I've been browsing around online for some ideas.
As I look for things that I really like and choose to use to create the mini destinations for each room, I will post any lovely finds and the merchants of designs.. right here where you can find them, too.

For starters..

Mediterranean Style Living Room:
I'd love to escape to a living room with impressions of the Mediterranean .. Dark lush textured rugs, huge wall art and tons of throw pillows and curtains that drag the floor. I'm almost there..

French Bistro Style Dining Room:
I just love Bistro tables! They're modest and promote intimacy. And guests are
not all confined to one big table! That's my desire for my kitchen and dining room. Two to three 2-seater tables for dining & tapas & wine tastings & private conversations...

Caribbean Garden Patio:
I plan to create a Tropical oasis of posh greenery and zen pebble-scapes with chimes and fountains to mask the barking dogs and highway noise that can be heard from my patio.. On one side will be my relaxing garden, and al fresco dining on the other! Plus lots of pretty night lights for late night visitors.. This escape? Right outside my kitchen, of course!

Moroccan Style Bedroom:
And alls I want in my bedroom is a romantic Moroccan inspired bed, exactly like this.

So I'd better get up from here and get on it!

Where in the world is Marcelle?

I used to work with Marcelle. I miss her. Marcelle loved dark chocolate. I don't. She doesn't like Aaron Neville. I do. I just checked my cell phone to see if I still have her number in it. It is. I haven't talked to her since April or May of last year. I called her with a legal contracts question. I was contemplating working as an contractor for a woman who created a line of organic personal lubricants. Marcelle doesn't call or email at all anymore. And I haven't called her. It's just so awkward initiating contact with friends who still have jobs. I know she's busier than ever. Mother. Wife. Mentor. With a intense travel schedule. And I'm sure her daughter is graduating from college in a year or so. I used to laugh out loud when she talked about the trepidations of her teen son.. and her hubby. I remember laughing at myself saying that, when my daughter goes away to college, "Ya'll will have to mop me up. I'm gonna be mush." I said that, assuming I'd still be employed there in 2012. I was wrong. Marcelle was/is a "more bang for the buck" kind of lady. When I was raising money for my daughter to take a class trip to DC, I tried having a jewelry sales fund raiser. Marcelle wrote a check for $150! So did a few others in the office. That was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. Not only the giving part, but the friendship part. For Christmas, Marcelle came back from NYC and gave me one of my most favorite Christmas gifts from a friend, ever! A NYC Central Park Starbucks coffee mug. See.. That's what people do who know something about you. They give you thoughtful gifts. I don't drink much coffee any more, but every time I use it for juice or tea, I think of Marcelle!

Bet she'd like to know that! Maybe I'll email her this weekend. Send her a link to this blog.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

More than enough surprises for one day!

I spent a couple of hours at billiards and bowling with the cable guy a few nights ago. Learned some interesting things about him. I secretly wondered if the guy might have PTSD. Fatal shooting, Gulf war veteran sniper near miss and near death personal experiences. I should avoid him at all costs.

The Universe had a different plan.

With new carpet installation a few days later came the need to disconnect the tv and cable box, then the problem of no picture after countless attempts at rebooting and reconnecting. Wouldn't you know it? I call him instead of the cable company for technical support. What was I thinking?

Just as he was finishing up, my brothers make a surprise visit from Iowa and Florida. I only expected the one from Iowa. But when the one from Florida emerged from the car. Well.... After my initial shock and tearful greeting, I composed myself to introduce him or them to.. each other. Three very cool very handsome men standing in my drive way. What a day!

He leaves to go about his work day and my brothers and I hang out for a minute, before I decide to pick up my teen from school a little early. I haven't seen my brothers together in 5 years! It was a wonderful, touching gift to laugh and enjoy their company. Knowing they'd both be going their separate ways tomorrow, and it could be another 5 years before we meet up again. They're weird like that.

A few hours later, I discover two text messages on my cell phone....

From the cable guy.

[First Message]
"It was nice to see u smile like that, when u were surprised by your brothers. So that must mean u dont see them as much as u should. Shame on u all."

[Next Message]
... "And your eyes are truly beautiful."

Wow. That was very endearing, to say the least.

Now.. How quickly can I forget about my brothers' surprise visit after these surprise messages?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

If it's not asking too much...

Cool times.. and a wonderful day! But at one point I stopped and wept just for a moment. Was feeling so good inside, that I longed for someone to share with. Not my teen. Not my mother. Not a BFF nor my brother. But a life partner and confidant. A beloved friend and bon vivant. The one who would know all my favorite things. The one who would know what everything means. Not for just to embrace. Not just to see his face.. But for to stand side-by-side and Look Forward with.

You know?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Yesterday I decided...

To go ahead and do everything I've ever wanted to do.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Today is a Miracle I didn't expect

I am a 10 year student of A Course in Miracles. I study The Course because it helped me quit denying the truth. It helps me to undo the negative.

Today I am renewing my conviction to undo the negative. It's not me but the "Miracle" that is doing the work for me. I am unlearning every negative thing that I've been taught, and that I've taught myself. I reflect on Heaven by allowing the Miracle to undo the negative. I sit quietly and I do nothing. I look and I wait and I do not judge any more. I won't work at it. I won't fight it. I won't try.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

More. Money. Now.

It's not enough to bail out the banks and supposedly make health care affordable for all, but.. you know what? People still go to jail for smoking weed. That's a shame. And electricity still gets shut off and people get evicted just because they don't have enough money to pay the bills. I just don't get it. If consumerism is more responsible for our economic mess than capitalism is, then.. then this earth should just go ahead and explode so we can start all over again from scratch.

Look. Just because I've been available for work for 18 months now, doesn't mean that I reject capitalism.. but I do reject bankers and essential life services providers.. and their shareholders making out like bandits at the expense of the people who just can't pay. I think about this as I get almost daily suicide prevention email blasts from a nonprofit I support. And just because I've been available for work for 18 months now, doesn't mean that I have run out of things to consume. Hey! I just tweeted that I am looking to buy a juicy red tube of lipstick. I can't eat that. But I still need it. And I'm gonna get it.

In the mean time, I just felt I should explain the asterisk (*) next to the word "Rich" on my About Me widget on the side bar. It's not to imply that I AM rich. It's just a statement of my own personal wealth.. I'm rich in spirit. I'm rich in creativity. I'm rich in love. You get the idea..

Every body who had dreams of it, still want to live the good life and be filthy wealthy rich. I'm right behind you. In front of you, actually. I just hope the sun doesn't go down on me before I see it through. I'm boycotting wally world (aka walmart) and I feel really good about not contributing to their wealth anymore. I'll save more money and aggravation and live better by staying outta there! It's a trap! They'd sell us mortgages if they could. Any place where I spend less than 20 minutes and come out and have no clue where my car is, is a place not to frequent.

I just love me too much to not feel rich these days. I still have my luxury apartment and I'm still hanging on by a thread to my luxury car, and my kid still attends school in one of the more elitist and successful public school districts in the country. I can have my cake and eat it, too. But I can't leave you without saying.. "God is good." What? You know that with hard times come religiosity or is that just another trapping of a well off lifestyle?

I'm thinking too much.


Close the Door

Life's door has finally been closed on old school super vocalist, Teddy Pendergrass. Or so it seems. Must be some sweet sounds - going down - on the Night Shift! TP never appealed to me physically, though. That facial hair! Yikes! I was only 17ish when The Son of a Preacher Man took me to a motel after a school dance and tried to get me to let him do what he wanted to do to me. We didn't get that far. I just couldn't let it. He has his portable cassette player with Teddy Pendergrass swooning.. and a bottle of wine, I think. I'll never forget it. The music, that is.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

About The Mom in Apt. 10b

woman in window

Apartment 10b is not only the place where my daughter and I live, but it is the place from where I can share with the world - and vice versa. It's a place where thoughts of all kinds are formed, where life is explored and intriguing sightings are reported.

Self proclaimed "spiritual, sensual & soulful scribe" and the coolest person I know. I'm a forty something single mom, who is just getting a round tuit.. After 18 months of gainful unemployment aka being available for work. I'm getting around to using my god given faculties and powers to go places and do things and helping those about us - for income, of course! Wow. I don't know how this will all unfold, but now that I've got my round tuit, I know I can do it!

Talent list forthcoming.

In addition, you'll soon discover here..

Rare Findings
Answers to Questions

Please come again.

Friday, January 1, 2010

In 2010

In 2010, everything works for me. Really well. I am better than fit, and more than divine. I look marvelous naked and not just in my mind. I dance & dine with ones who wait, but I'm keeping the light on for my soul mate.

In 2010 I am stronger, more stretched and centered! Inspired by Paula and Mary J and Iman.

I write, create, blog, develop and design. I do this for myself and for others!

In 2010, I'll be about the business of sharing and giving more than ever.

I will buy myself more fun and funky jewels and rings like the beautiful topaz my 16 year old gave me for Christmas. I love this ring! I'll share a photo soon.

In 2010, I'm like a chameleon, ever evolving and always fitting in perfectly. Doing only what and going only where there is authentic joy and compatibility happening.

In 2010, I am the unique reflection and celebration of the p
ast and the present so my daughter can see herself in a wonder filled future... waaay past 2012!

In 2010, I make it a point to be electric, stylish and playful.. Oh! And.. Sublime, and yes, sometimes, a little ridiculous!

And so it is.. a

Happy New Year!

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