Monday, February 22, 2010

Is there a Cougar in me?

I've been trying to sit this whole cougar thing out since I first heard the term and understood the meaning to be an older woman who's trying to score with a much younger man.

My 16 year old giggles that I think her 20something year old mall store manager, Josh - is adorable. When I first met him, I was pretty forward.. I advanced on him, shook his hand, cornered him -asking him questions and telling him how cute he was. I didn't even realize I was doing it. My daughter snarled at me.. "Mom?!" Then she dragged me out of the store and told me I was acting like a "cougar!" Me? A cougar? Palease!

I've heard of, but have never seen this t.v. show with Vivica, Aint Got No Talent, Fox... called "Cougars." I'm sure it's woefully, painfully, pathetically, unfunny.. and uninteresting. Though she probably plays a really good overly surgically altered cougar, watching & waiting preying on lil' boys. Am I being ugly? Sorry. I'm just not a Vivica fan. At all.

And who came up with that name, "cougar," anyway? And why is there a stigma attached to a woman over 40 wanting or having a younger man? When men have been hooking up with younger women for ages! Is there a name for that, besides "sugar daddy?" Oh, yes... It's.. "Double standard."

Some women think the term "cougar" is derogatory. I wouldn't go that far. As a matter of fact it's very reflective of some of the traits of a cougar. You know -being on the hunt, prowl; to corner & pounce! Like I seemed to have been doing with Josh that day.

I do feel like going on the hunt sometimes, when I'm so aware that I'm not with anyone, and everyone else seems to be. I could probably never pull that 'cougar' thing off with any success. I'm too self conscious. As good as I feel about myself, and my looks, I do have battle scars, a younger guy wouldn't understand or want to hear the stories of. And I cannot see me pouncing on anything! Well. Maybe. Depends on the man.

I could entertain a much younger man taking care of me, but I probably couldn't do it the way Stella did it.. I think she went back way too far.. My groove is not in that bad a shape! At my age, anybody under 35 is not going to work.

I remember when I was 39, I met a 30 year old man who totally turned me off when he said.. in the middle of a discussion about something.. "My mother didn't raise me like that!" Tha end. Bye-bye. That was one too many references to his mother!

And when I was 25 I was dating someone was just turning 20. We had the hots for each other.
As it turns out he was going through a divorce from a cougar... who had a child from a previous marriage. He was still in love with her. He decided to tell me about it after he realized we were getting serious. I think he ended up reconciling with her. I do remember him telling me she was 40 something (the age I am, now). I was mad that he didn't tell me he was married. But I was sad that we broke up. And I missed him for a long time afterwards. He was sweet! And smart. Ambitious. And lots of fun...

...But mostly, he had no inhibitions or judgments. After I learned he was married to an older woman, I understood why he had that mature touch & passion. Somebody had taught it to him! Yowza!

I'd like to think that if I decided to enter a relationship with a much younger man.. I'd not be looked as a sad old maid or even as some super hottie "on the hunt." But as someone who is seriously in the game of seek and ye shall find --the right one. Even if he's 5 and NO MORE THAN ten years younger than me. As long as he's able to NOT play any games and step up to me without any unnecessary superfluous b-s-ing.. then, I'd be ok with it!

Wanna meet the... The Real Cougar Woman? She's even written a book that debunks the cougar myths! Gotta love her!


MOMSWEB said...

Wow. There really is a Cougar Woman! I still think you're a cougar also - a cute, cautious cougar (smile).