Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Not a Wildfire but a Tender Fire


For days I've been struggling with what to do with this blog. When I discovered the sexy feet with the red nail polish theme, I was content. That image would convey a message I wanted to share with a new audience, and perhaps some old friends would follow me over from another place I'd been hanging out. The message that I'm dying to share is that I'm a sexy sensual woman, not just a sexy mama, AND SO MIGHT BE -OTHER MOTHERS OUT THERE! But as I begin to write daily, I struggled with the message. With several things going on in my life right now, I wasn't sure if - I really wanted to go 'there.' You may have noticed my blog description or tag line has changed quite a few times. For now, I like that it's "How I feel, what I think."

But really, deep down inside I wanted to be a little more adventurous and risqué
here at Apt 10b. More inviting. More appealing to a broader audience. I want to write about and explore topics I didn't dare share on my other more family friendly blog. There, my expressions are mostly about my journey as a single mom of a teen aged girl, and my stance on organized religion & how we are all children of the same universe, in the voice of a woman who considers herself a spiritual, sensual, soulful scribe. There, I can get on my soapbox and feel perfectly safe. Every once in a while revealing my true colors.. But here, I truly want to be vulnerable, put my red dress on! And the red lipstick and the red nail polish, too! Take a chance. Let my hair down.. and burn that sacred fire... that tender fire.. and say out loud --If you think that sexuality recedes with spiritual growth, think again!

I've found that in my essence as a free spirit who abides closely to God, (I may also refer to as Spirit, Creator and sometimes the Universe) the source of all creativity, not only is my spirituality more intense and whole, so is my sensuality and my sexuality!!

So there! It's all out in the open.

Where our anti-sensual culture tends to divide sexuality and spirituality, I'm here to say that a single adult woman dating men, or wanna be dating men, I am not torn about any messages of sex nor am I torn or struggle to find my own values for my sexuality. My sexuality and sensuality is a lovely fire of beautiful flames that cast light and warmth. It's not the least bit destructive and it's certainly not about sexual arousal or gratification. All the time.

And I think that writing this has freed me up to move forward with other entrepreneurial projects and aspirations.. Without hiding myself behind sunglasses any longer. I don't have to blog, but I do have to make a living, and I've been afraid to really be the authentic Mom in Apt 10b; The spiritual, sensual, soulful, me.

2 comments:

Greg Dragon said...

Kudos to you for creating a blog like this, myself and girlfriend have been enjoying your posts (she especially) since she is single with a teen also. I'm interested to hear more, I dig the way you see life since it comes from a very rare angle that many people either mask (by quoting scripture SIGH) or keep hidden due to societies stigmas.

MOMSWEB said...

You? Afraid? I don't believe it. Girl, let it all hang out. Once you find the courage to voice the REAL Mom in Apt10b, the others (moms with red shoes in the closet) will follow.