Sunday, February 14, 2010

Love You, Too

In the living room of about 20 others, she sat on pointe in a wing chair directly across from me on the sofa. I imagined she was my deceased paternal grandmother. Slender, bejeweled with silver tresses beautifully coiffed away from her high cheek bones and dark but slightly reddened complexion. I'm told I'll look like her when I'm that age. The rock on her ring finger spoke volumes! She obviously belongs to a well endowed man. Hmmmm.. I was impressed and proud. But my grandmother, she is not.

This single mom's charity project kick-off meeting started with a round-robin of introductions, and finally, hers was.. testimonial; As if it's the only reason to exist she said.. "A man wants a woman who has a passion for something." My mother never even told me that! Then again, my truck driver step dad had child support to pay, and my mom, was technically a single mother with three children of her own to raise.. She never got around to indulging in any passion. I wish she had, though. I never knew until I gave birth, my mother wanted to work for NASA. Now, a chronic pain patient, she's an aspiring watercolorist. Observing the clouds, the moon and flowers and painting them on greeting cards she designs. God does have a way of bringing us full circle to our longings.

The beautiful Madam eagerly shared that during a leisurely drive that very day, she admired a house that was occupied. Her husband got out of the car, knocked on the door and asked the owners if they were interested in selling. They said, "Yes." The needful calls to lawyers and realtors were made and the house now belongs to Madam!

I wondered what her passion was that attracted Monsieur. Could it be the active non-profit she claims founding, that grants money to single mothers to further their education? I later on Googled and found nothing about it, her or him, online. I threw her contact information away.

I supposed that if you love a man who can buy you a house on demand, how wonderful for you. And if you desire a union with him, then by all means marry him if your heart calls you to. I just believe that choosing the union you have also chosen to serve God and Goddess. Multi-task if you must! At the very least, fit YOURSELF in first -or else! At first glance I was impressed with Madame, but I also lost confidence in her.. The more she spoke the more I learned. It seems to me, she got lost in her man and all he could bestow. Not a judgment, just an observation.

I guess, sometimes it takes a half your life to get around to loving yourself enough to take care of yourself without any one subsidizing you. I used to think all I wanted was to be married with a bunch of children. But after eight years in the Navy, I realized I could never ever, married or not, allow my partnership with a man to silence my voice.. like my mother likely did.. Not a judgment, just an observation.

Art: Love Yourself First and Then Your Dog by Chryssa Wolfe


MOMSWEB said...

I silenced myself and after 14 years of marriage, I have spoken, and spoken, and spoken, and spoken with my new voice, opinions and concerns. FREEDOM of VOICE breeds a better union!